Save the IRS
Won’t You Help the IRS With A Taxable Donation?
When I worked as a mover, the most luxurious accommodations among the thousands of institutions/companies which I helped relocate, belonged to the ATF (Federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives) and the IRS (Federal Internal Revenue Service). And, it wasn’t even close.
Turns out, more so than the most successful architecture, tech, or law firm, the federal Bureaus mentioned above had the nicest bureaus. They occupied the most centrally located, heavily guarded, and extraordinarily expensive commercial real estate in a given city.
The bathrooms. Oh, wow. The bathrooms. I snuck my way into use one when Uncle Sam’s foot soldiers in ties looked the other way. I dropped my gin–I mean dolly–as nature called. Upon entrance, automatic lights intensified from dim to comfortably bright. The floors were marble–I shit you not. The stalls were the envy of George Costanza–the doors went all the way to the floor. The toilets were self cleaning. The urinals the same. An array of various soap preferences and hand lotions left one in a pleasant state of indecision as smooth jazz piped in at just the right volume. I didn’t get to see the lunch room, but one can only imagine the delights therein.
Ponder then, for a moment, my surprise and attendant horror that, as Biden economic advisor Heather Boushay announced on CNBC today that the “Build, Back, Better” ‘Infrastructure’ Bill that passed the House this morning addresses the woeful conditions in which the Internal Revenue Service must work. In Boushay’s own words, “Let’s face it: For decades, we have been starving the IRS.”
Sister Heather and Brother Bobby Boushay (sp?)
This is why it is so essential that, as part of the bill, an additional $80 billion dollars be allocated to the paltry $136 billion IRS budget.
Personally, I think the IRS agents deserve much more of your productive and human capital. Those agents devote their lives and energies to the relentless pursuit of extracting as much of the fruit of the productives’ work as possible. Don’t you dare pocket that bale of cotton without us knowing, sharecropper! You dare to get money for your signature, college football player/NCAA indentured servant?! Why, that is unpatriotic and a crime! Oh and for all of you drug dealers out there–damn you to hell (which I suspect smells perpetually like Biden’s pants somewhere left at the Vatican–probably in Francis’s reliquary to the State) if you dare use an alternative currency that–by design–won’t lose 99% of its value (and soon to be more) over a century. How contemptible!
So, please, the next time you encounter an IRS agent in the intersection or on the corner, won’t you consider making a large, taxable donation to ensure those marble floors are polished? Have a heart! Sure, they never lost their jobs during the hysterical government lockdowns last year–who would be able to tax those small businesses who were going under if they had?!
Our angels of confiscation deserve much, much better. Maybe a portion of them think the white agents shouldn’t be listening to smooth jazz as they defecate–racial and cultural appropriation and all? Should they not have intersectional alternatives?
Oh, and those pristine urinals. What should happen of one leaks or breaks? Those are extraordinarily expensive to maintain and fix, given that they are programed to malfunction only when a national election might be determined to go the opposite way of the establishment’s wishes in the middle of the night. In Cobb County. That’s in Georgia, by the way.
Liquidate that BTC. And do NOT buy BSV! Quickly transfer those fiat dollars to the agency best equipped to flush them down the latrine.
That is your duty. That is your obligation!
You consented to all this, right?!
